I know the quote that states, “Some people come into your life for a reason, season, or a lifetime” is kinda cheesy, but it is so true.

And I’m always saying that everything happens for a reason even if we never figure out the reason why, but it doesn’t stop me from trying.

I have a friend who comes and goes in and out of my life. It’s a bit annoying, confusing, and at times heart-breaking. I have a blast when we’re together but she is so inconsistent with our friendship that I often question if it’s worth salvaging. How do you know when to let go? The costs of our friendship seem to outweigh the rewards, but it’s hard to move on. I still care about her and love her like maybe sisters love one another… she’s been as close to one as any girlfriend I’ve had, but still there’s something not quite right. We haven’t spoken in over 6 weeks now… she got annoyed because I couldn’t do something she asked of me and hasn’t called me since.

At least with relationships (boyfriend/girlfriend ones), one can move on if there is an official ‘break-up’ of sorts. But with girlfriends it’s different… do you say, “hey, we’re breaking up?” Because that’s been said before… years ago, but then, our friendship resumed after a few months of separation.

Are friendships supposed to be this difficult to maintain? Is that my nudge to say sianora and push on ahead without her? T has a similar friend and we discuss this off an on, on and off, but neither of us had come to any real conclusion. We just wait for them to act like friends “because that’s what friends are supposed to do”. And each time it doesn’t happen, a little bit of me becomes a bit bitter about it.

It also makes me sad because we’ve been friends for so long… our friendship has been off an on (mostly on) for the past 12 years or so.

There’s no one answer that sits best with me right now; I’m not sure I want a solid answer. Maybe the waiting to see what will happen next is better than the finality of saying ‘goodbye’.

Tags: friendship